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Giving up, isn't always losing out.

The new decade is upon us and with it comes a time to plan, to consider habit's we wish to leave behind in 2019. It's a whole two decades since we thought we were at the perils of the millennium bug, just think of all that learning, evolving and testing you have experienced!

When we make changes in our life, the change itself can often feel HUGE at first. It might be like leaving the safari only to realise there is a gorilla in the boot!

In the early days of changing stuff, and stuff changing, it might linger in are peripheral vision.

Change can be the sudden absence of something, the absence alone giving you something to search for. Like when you suddenly realise you left the lights on at home and you are already half way into town!

Or perhaps that change of behaviour or thought pattern is a much wanted rest and relief and suddenly those empty spaces where the thoughts and feelings once resided are filling up with that sense of new excitement and opportunity?

Making change a comfortable and familiar process can help your brain to develop strategies that enable you to be flexible and responsive to making change a regular part of your life. Familiar, trusted choices that can enhance your life.

Giving up or changing a behaviour is a great way to remind the mind of the choice and opportunity you have in life. It was choice that started the behaviour in the first place after all.

An easy way to frame your goal is to look at the giving up & gain paradox.

  • What behaviour are you going to put a stop to? ( Give up doing)

  • What are the things you are going to gain or benefit from by this change? ( consider how others will benefit too?)

When you look back on the past ten years how much of the big changes can you really feel any more? How many can you even remember? What are the achievements that stand out in thought and feeling?

If you are feeling some hesitancy in trusting your sense of achieving your goal, here are some great questions to ask yourself. ( Even better have a coach or someone else ask them).

ACTIVITY ( Cartesian Coordinates)

Record all of the answers that come to mind and leave plenty of time for the mind to wander over all of it's answer.

Start with the behaviour or problem you want to change: __________

Question 1: What would happen if you do/did?

Question 2: What would happen if you don't/didn't?

Question 3: What wouldn't happen if you do/did?

Question 4: what wouldn't happen if you didn't/don't?

Changing behaviours/habits or thoughts creates opportunity, it can feel unknown and achievable. But remember possible in the world is possible for you with the right plan, resources and reasons to change.

Giving up isn't always quitting, sometimes it's the most rewarding gift you can give yourself.

Planning Dry January? If you are curious about how change can be achieved check out my blog on quitting alcohol. "6 months in" blog HERE


Picture Credit: Jungwoo Hung- Unsplash

Cartisean Coordinates - Cited various - NLP - Milton Ericsson- Originator.

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