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If at first you don't succeed, be kind to yourself, and do it differently.

If January has past without you managing to reach a particular goal, behaviour or stick to a new years resolution it's worth being patient and kind with yourself.

It might feel easier to feed your mind with dissolution or frustration and give up on your attempt. Thinking that- because you didn't make that change this time- it's not worth the while.

Be reassured, your "failed" attempt is one step closer to understanding how to achieve the change.

When setting a goal and not quite reaching it, I invite you to ask yourself these two questions.

a) What have I learned about the process?

b) Is the goal right for me?

These questions will normally give some useful information about the journey so far and offer perspectives on things like....

What action was taken towards or further away from the goal?

Did you believe you could achieve it?

Did you have the right resources accessible to you or was there some else to learn?

Do you really value the goal enough in your life to change aspects to achieve it?

From here I invite you to explore the time, effort, attention, money and energy you put into making the goal a reality. Was it just enough, maybe it was too much too soon and overwhelmed you? Are you focusing in the right place? Can you take action and re-align the way you do something?

If you are putting all your attention and energy into being hard on yourself, this may not be the best use of your resources . Instead, you can begin to explore the stuff that did work well, be honest of course, and be kind to yourself. Be curious and excited about what can change for you the next time.

After all, if you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you always got. (anon).

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