Ever walked into a room already feeling apologetic that you did not do the task you said you would. A meeting perhaps, a favour for a friend/family member.
This often leads to feelings of embarrassment, worry and anxiety and possibly even shame that you have " let someone down".
In coaching - when people don't do part of the thing they set out to do- I normally explore two key areas and this is something that you can easily do for yourself.
Are you equipped?
By this I mean consider what stopped you doing the task/goal. This is for people who really hold the goal/task/change true and are feeling a little hesitant of it.
Consider what might be stopping you?
Was there an absence of a skill set, belief (perhaps confidence or fear of failure). Do you fully understand the steps require, have you got the right practical/financial resources and have you feasibly set aside enough time to do everything you need to to achieve? The tasks might feel too big or you might be questioning the impact of it on other people perhaps?
Finding the barrier here can help you to re-frame your goal and explore new routes to getting it done.
Is it a priority?
No really was it - did you make time for it? Did you like the idea of saying yes ( people pleasing/kindness) or has other stuff crept up the list of things to do
Simply asking your self " is this really a priority". If it is notice how you begin to put it further up the list and take action.
If it isn't - and this relates to a life choice/goal- it may be worth re-considering whether this really is your goal, right now.
Here are a few examples of behaviours you may want to change and those top trumps that slip it down the priority list. ( listen out for these sort of phrases in your own language)
1) " I want more family time but I love spending time with the lads
2) " I want to lose weight but my partner takes me on such nice dates to restaurants where I can't choose anything healthy.
3) " I 'll need an extension on that report - I had to organise the office party because no one else would"
4) " I am so exhausted, I am desperate to sleep and when I can't sleep I will end up scrolling Facebook to try and tire myself out"
Tips for prioritisation and taking action:
1) Be honest with yourself - this can take a little getting used to but is the simple act of acknowledging and saying to yourself..."Do you know what that isn't actually a priority, lets go back to the drawing board on what I really want to achieve/change".
2) Break the task down into smaller chunks.
3) Gain more information - this feeds understanding to be clear on how it can be a priority for you.
4) Review your goal and change it - if you gain the knowledge that it isn't actually worth your while the realisation of that very fact could be an achievement in itself for you.
5) Be lean with change - too much change at once or too many goals means your much more likely to avoid certain tasks, become fatigued with your goals and lose momentum.
6) Remember challenges and set backs are still part of getting to a destination, completing a task and achieving change " just keep swimming".
7) Celebrate achievements - I mentioned earlier that "benchmark" moment in goal setting- yet how often do we achieve things in life and its not until we stop and look way back that we recognise the amazing experiences, learning and things we have done. Remember to take time to celebrate everything you do prioritise in getting to your goal - it will feed your soul and remind you of your infinite capabilities.